Why the Best Leaders Reward Defiance

In 1959 the Revolutionaries finally forced the Cuban president, and United States ally, Fulgencio Batista into exile. Fidel Castro and his insurgency had taken over. Two years later, John F. Kennedy, the golden boy in the White House, initiated the Bay of Pigs invasion. Surrounded by advisors and cabinet members who believed Kennedy could not…

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Better Decisions Begin with More Beautiful Questions

Recently our family traveled to the Virgin Islands for a vacation. Our daily choices were pretty much reading, swimming, hiking, and sunsets. And snorkeling in beautiful warm water with beautiful, strange creatures. Almost every day we would pick a beach, pack a lunch, towels and swimming gear, and head off on a small adventure. And…

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Snap out of the Trance of Unworthiness

The 13-year old boys walked off the field kicking dirt and shaking their heads. Aiden anguished, “If Ben’s shot had gone in, it would have been a totally different game.” In the first few seconds of the game, immediately after kick-off, the boys had a fast break down the right side, and suddenly Ben was…

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A Mental Trick to Achieving Your Big Goals

O, the places you will go! In this season of graduation and change, anything is possible. We’re told from a very young age we can do anything we set our mind to. Olympic gold medal winner Seth Wescott once signed a poster for our son, and wrote on it, “Go big! Live your dreams.” Sometimes…

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A Trick to Avoid Frustration and Stress

Someone in a big SUV, talking on the phone, oblivious to everyone around them, just cut you off. How do you feel? Just today, in a meeting, your boss contradicted you, again. How do you feel? That imbecile over in product management just got the promotion you wanted. How about now? The plane has just…

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No, Time is Not Money

How would you answer these questions? Would you prefer a less expensive apartment with a longer commute, or a more expensive apartment closer to work? Would you buy a more expensive direct flight, or a less expensive flight with a layover? Would you choose a job with a higher starting salary, which required more hours…

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The Work of Confidence

People are rewarded in public for what they practice for years in private. – Tony Robbins In an interview, Jake Gyllenhall once described his acting preparation as accessing a parallel world through grinding determination and hard work. For example, to prepare for the movie Southpaw, he spent five months at boxing clubs, talking to boxers,…

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What’s Possible When We Are Not Afraid

“The thing I fear most is fear.” – Michel de Montaigne, 1580 Corruption, muggings, police brutality, whooping cough, tornados, and pandemics all rank in the top 25 of American fears of the last year. Dig a little deeper down the list and avian flu, pesticides, identity theft, and flesh-eating disease show up. Sometimes these fears…

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You. Put It in Your Work.

Are you funny? Sarcastic? Witty? A dog lover? Maybe your passion is coaching youth sports. Or maybe it’s a cup of tea and a sci-fi novel on the couch. Maybe it’s Downton Abbey or maybe it’s The Walking Dead. Maybe it’s snowboarding with your kids. Whatever it is. Whatever gets your groove on, put it…

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Believe in Your Goals, but Earn Your Gifts

You’ve probably heard of the Pygmalion effect. It’s when people start to escalate their performance because of the expectations others have of them. It’s named after the Greek myth of Pygmalion who fell in love with an ivory sculpture he created. He loved his sculpture so much that he wished her alive as his wife,…

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