The Busier You Are, The More You Need a Break

/in , , , /by

woman-breathing-fresh-air1Recently over here at Skillsoft we did a survey in collaboration with Scott Eblin, leadership expert and author of the new book Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative.

In this short study we asked many questions about how we, all busy professionals, spend our days – when we wake up, how long our commute is, how many texts and emails we receive each day, how many meetings we sit through, how much exercise we get, and even how many cups of coffee we drink.

And then we asked a few questions about our sense of happiness, contentment, productivity, and how much of the time we feel “at our best.” The objective of the study was to understand how our daily behaviors impact our sense of well-being, productivity, and happiness – in our work, in our communities, and with our families.

Some of what we discovered may not surprise you, but one insight might: The busier we are in our work, the more we need to both schedule, and take, regular breaks in our day in order to sustain high levels of happiness and productivity. The happiest, and most productive professionals, take regular mini-breaks throughout the day. And the more responsibility we have, the more important this becomes.

Here is some of what we discovered:

Individual Contributors, that is professionals who are not bosses, with no direct reports, suffer through the fewest number of meetings, receive the least number of emails and texts (although 24% stated they receive over 50 per day), have the shortest commute to work, and for the most part are good at leaving work at work. Only a third of this group spend more than 40 hours a week in the office. These individual contributors and team members also reported the least amount of hours working outside of work – at home, in coffee shops, etc.

The majority of Managers surveyed stated they had about two to six members on their team, received slightly higher volumes of email and text messages regarding work, and unsurprisingly had to sit through a few more meetings each day. Managers also described slightly higher commuting distances, presumably because they were willing to travel farther for their position. This group is getting about the same amount of sleep as their individual contributor counterparts, but dedicating a little more time each week to exercise.

Apparently gone are the days of Executives having martini lunches and golfing twice a week, because in our survey the Executive group overwhelmingly reported the highest volume of emails (31% say they receive over 100), nearly twice as many meetings (many up to 6 meetings per day!), and up to 80 hours of being connected to work each week, both at the office and elsewhere. This group also travels the farthest to work, and unsurprisingly spends the most amount of time on airplanes. However, the Executive group also reported the most hours dedicated to sleep and exercise.

Here’s the piece of data that surprised us:

Contributors and Managers reported comparable levels of happiness and productivity, and comparable number of mini-breaks in their work day to refresh and recharge. And those with the least work obligations suffered the least when they did not take regular breaks.

Meanwhile, we found that the greater the responsibility and obligations we have, in terms of meetings, direct reports, email correspondence, travel, etc… the more important the mental breaks become. Those with the highest volume of meetings, emails, obligations and distractions reported a much greater drop in productivity at work, and satisfaction in all aspects of their lives when they did not take mindful, and intentional breaks in their day.

Do yourself, your work, and your family a favor. Take a break.

Is Luck a Choice?

/in , , , , /by

Rabbit’s feet, four leaf clovers, and rain during sunshine are all signs of fortune and good luck. The good luck ritual of “knocking on wood” comes from pre-christian rituals in which it was considered important to invoke the powerful and benign influence of the tree gods.

Cats throughout history have been both powerful and good (ancient Egypt), and powerful and bad (medieval England). In the 1560’s in Lincolnshire England, the story goes that a father and son chased a black cat into an alley, and then threw stones at it before it escaped to the home of a nearby woman suspected of being a witch. The next day they returned to discover the woman limping with bruised legs, presumably from the stones the night prior. Thereafter it was believed witches could transform into black cats.

When a ladder is propped up against a wall a natural triangle is formed, symbolic of the holy Trinity. To walk under the ladder would break the Trinity, and therefore bring ill fortune. Yet numerous experiments demonstrate such superstitions have no real worldly effect. (Unless of course some higher power is influencing you – just watch BF Skinner get a pigeon to turn in circles in less than 60 seconds.)

In his book The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman describes luck in terms of choice. In his research working with more than 400 individuals, he found several key attributes of those who describe themselves as “lucky”:

  • They create opportunities for uncertainty and embrace change. They are creative and curious. Wiseman has a fun game in which participants write down six activities or experiences they have not tried but would be willing to try, then roll a die and do the activity that corresponds to the outcome. This game reinforces our willingness to try something new.
  • They make good decisions without consciously knowing why or how they did. Those who describe themselves as lucky make better gut decisions. Intuition-driven decision making seems impossible to control, yet Wiseman discovered those lucky decision makers actually spent more time reflecting and meditating on the decision once considered, and spent more time envisioning hypothetical circumstances in which they may have to make decisions. So when the situation arose, those who were “lucky” were actually better prepared to make a decision in the moment.
  • They have dreams and ambitions that have a knack of coming true. Lucky people expect the best outcomes, despite any negative past experiences, whereas unlucky people allow past negative events to dictate future expectations. The lucky people also described their expectations of upcoming interactions with other people as generally positive. That is, they anticipate their own good fortune.
  • They turn their bad fortune into good luck or opportunity. Wiseman describes two primary ways people turn bad luck into good luck. Basically they interpret the bad as “could have been much worse.” And when they reflect on past events, they spend a greater amount of time visualizing and selectively remembering the positive. In other words, the bad wasn’t all that bad, and the good was pretty great.

You too can create your own luck. People who consider themselves lucky put themselves in the position of having chance encounters that lead to interesting new possibilities and opportunities, see the upside of the experience, and harness the power of curiosity to be creative. Good luck!
Start one small act at a time. Try our course Small Acts of Leadership to build action into your life every single day.

    ____________________________________________________

Our company Mindscaling, is busy building powerful human and digital learning experiences for companies of all sizes. My new book Small Acts of Leadership, is a Washington Post bestseller! You can grab a copy now. Have a meeting coming up? I love to work with groups large and small. Let’s talk.

Last summer, my son and I bicycled across America with two other dads and their teenagers. We published a new book about it called Chasing Dawn. I co-authored the book with my cycling companion, the artist, photographer, and wonderful human jon holloway. Buy a copy. I’ll sign it and send it to your doorstep.

You are Successful. But Distracted. Possibly Bored. What Happened?

/in , , , , , /by

You are successful. You worked hard for years with laser focus developing unique and sought-after expertise that no one else could quite replicate at your company. It paid off. You are highly valued. People ask your opinion. They invite you to join projects. They buy you drinks.

But lately you are distracted, almost bored. It’s not that you don’t have lots of projects going on. You do. Actually a ton of interesting people and projects keep arriving at your feet. They are all fascinating and exciting, and brimming with opportunity. For five minutes.

The problem is they aren’t your projects. They are someone else’s. And while their enthusiasm is contagious and fun, in the end it’s their project, not yours. And for that reason the buzz doesn’t last. You became sought-after and valuable because of your unique and unparalleled expertise. And that success has brought opportunity. And those opportunities have created distractions which leave you unfocused, drifting, and wondering when you can get back to what you love. Which is hard to do since all of these enticing opportunities keep presenting themselves.

Only Do What Only You Can Do: You became passionate, and excellent, and sought-after, by focusing the bulk of your time on only doing what only you can do. In other words, taking on the kinds of projects and challenges that you are uniquely predisposed to do.

Let’s take a few tips from choice expert, Sheena Iyengar, on how to bring some discipline to your decisions.

Step 1: Write down all of the things that you do in a given work week. What is extraneous, redundant, or can be offloaded to someone more qualified? According to Sheena, it should be at least 50%, ideally 75%.

Step 2: Of what’s left on the list, ask yourself, “When I work on this task do I experience greater frustration or greater joy or reward to others upon accomplishing it?” Of those items high in frustration, you want to 1. do quickly 2. offload, or 3. just stop doing. Because remember that tasks you find frustrating, someone else finds easy or rewarding.

Step 3: What’s left should be tasks in which you create greater value than frustration, produce greater joy than pain, and build greater value than distraction. Categorize them by type of task. Ah, you just learned something about the types of things you do.

Step 4: Finally, of what’s left in the high impact, high value, high reward, low frustration category, ask yourself, “Am I the most qualified person available to be doing this?”

You have now arrived at Only Do What Only You Can Do. In this place you have found the intersection of skill, passion, and impact. In this place you love your work, learn quickly and deliver high value to the team around you. In this place you can recapture your mojo.

But this does not give you license to become a prima donna, or shirk shared obligations. There are always chores that need to be done by any team, and you likely have specific deliverables that make you yawn every week. Step up. Lean in. It’s what keeps the trains running.

My suggestion is to remember what made you valuable in the first place, and not lose sight of honing that expertise.

Start one small act at a time. Try our course Small Acts of Leadership to build action into your life every single day.

    ____________________________________________________

Our company Mindscaling, is busy building powerful human and digital learning experiences for companies of all sizes. My new book Small Acts of Leadership, is a Washington Post bestseller! You can grab a copy now. Have a meeting coming up? I love to work with groups large and small. Let’s talk.

Last summer, my son and I bicycled across America with two other dads and their teenagers. We published a new book about it called Chasing Dawn. I co-authored the book with my cycling companion, the artist, photographer, and wonderful human jon holloway. Buy a copy. I’ll sign it and send it to your doorstep.

Your Decisions Become Your Possessions

/in , , , , /by

newideas

If I make a decision it is a possession, I take pride in it, I tend to defend it and not listen to those who question it. A decision is something you polish.
– Paul Gleason, wildland firefighter

In 1994, 14 heroic firefighters perished in the South Canyon fire in Colorado. Although they had been instructed to drop their gear when fleeing the advancing fire, none did. One body was found only 250 feet from the safety of top of the ridge still wearing his heavy pack and carrying a chainsaw. After the event, experts calculated that less than .5 mile per hour of faster speed would have saved them. Average humans, unencumbered, can run about 12-14mph for short distances. Carrying their gear the firefighters might have been half as fast. Perhaps they were disoriented in the smoke and fire. Perhaps the act of dropping gear would be to admit failure. Perhaps in the moment, and in spite of their training, they didn’t hear the order and simply never thought of it.

We also overvalue our possessions. In the 1949 wildfire disaster at Mann-Gulch, crew foreman Wag Dodge clearly ordered everyone to drop their gear and run from the advancing fire. Walter Rumsey testified that even though he was running for his life, he saw his partner Eldon Diettert was carrying a shovel. Rumsey grabbed it from him to lessen his load, but then searched around for a tree so that he could carefully lean the shovel against it.

Foolish consistencies aren’t only the domain of individual judgment. The final report of the Columbia shuttle disaster investigation stated that NASA “management was not able to recognize that in unprecedented conditions, when lives are on the line, flexibility and democratic process should take priority over bureaucratic response.” They simply couldn’t see beyond standard operating procedure in the face of changing circumstances and evidence.

Conviction can be a good thing. Conviction bolsters confidence and spurs action. But failing to abandon past practices and habits can also be catastrophic. We can become so enamored with our possessions that we self-identify with carrying them. To carry a Pulaski fireman’s axe is a badge of honor, just as carrying our habits and opinions with us everywhere we go affirms who we are.

So how can we identify those fixations that are holding us back and weighing us down, versus reaffirming those closely held convictions which empower and propel us? Taking a tip from Harvard medical researcher Jenny Rudolph, the best advice is to say what you are thinking out loud, in the presence of those whom you trust and who will hold you accountable.

In her research she found that once medical students made incorrect diagnoses, they would often persist in ineffective treatments long after it had become obvious that the treatments were not helping. They were simply unable, or unwilling, to revisit their original diagnosis. They became stuck – fixated – on their original decision.

Dr. Rudolph found that by doing three simple things, the medical students were often able to change their opinion quickly and effectively treat an accurate diagnosis.

  • Say out loud an expanded list of the symptoms identified
  • Say out loud an expanded list of the possible diagnoses that would fit the symptoms identified
  • Say out loud a plan to eliminate each diagnosis one by one

By simply saying out loud what we are thinking in the face of changing circumstances and evidence, we force ourselves to consider our opinions and biases. We not only hold ourselves more accountable, but implicitly ask those around us to also check our judgment.

After all, remember what Justice Louis Brandeis famously said, “Sunlight is the best disinfectant.”

Redefine your competition. Think bigger.

/in , , , /by

thinkbiggerJeri Finard has made some valuable decisions on her way to the highest echelons of business. She stopped trying really hard to get ahead, she listened closely to trusted mentors, and she stopped following the conventional wisdom of focusing on your competition.

I had the privilege to interview Ms. Finard last week in New York. Currently the President of Godiva, and formerly the Global Brand President of Avon, and Chief Marketing Officer at the immense organization Kraft Foods, Ms. Finard is no stranger to executive offices and boardrooms. But as she described to me, the key to getting ahead was finding what she loved. And one key to finding what she loved was ignoring the ladder-climbing game. Let me explain.

Years ago as a manager at Kraft Foods, she was invited to lead the confectionary business for the newly acquired Nabisco. It was a generous and plum position offer. She declined it for personal reasons to focus on her family and children. She explained to me that while she was dedicated to her husband and kids, and unwilling to relocate her family for new opportunities, she also felt a sense of frustration while others around her were getting promoted. At the time her mentor was Ann Fudge, who went on to be President of Kraft General Foods and recognized as one of the savviest and most successful women in business. Ann advised her to follow her own path and passions, and disregard what her colleagues were doing.

As somewhat of a consolation, Ms. Finard was offered a lateral move to run the desserts division within Kraft. The desserts division was comprised of brands such as JELL-O, Cool Whip, Baker’s Chocolate and other brands which were stagnating. JELL-O already owned 85% of the gelatin market, Cool Whip had saturated their own market, and home baking was on the decline. From the perspective of many within Kraft it was considered a dog division with no prospect of growth opportunity. The expectation was that she would go babysit a flat line of products.

Ms. Finard took a new perspective. She didn’t know it wasn’t possible to build growth in a flat market. Yes, JELL-O had 85% of the gelatin market, but she focused on the fact that gelatin wasn’t the competition. The real competition was snack foods like yogurt, fruit, chips and candy bars. And JELL-O was less than 2% of the snack foods industry, so from her perspective there was nothing but growth opportunity. She focused on fun, like JELL-O Pudding Pops, and healthy alternatives, like JELL-O with less sugar and more fruit, JELL-O smoothies, even created popular recipes to reinvigorate desserts.

As she described, “Ultimately you’re competing for share of stomach. So I think it’s important that you don’t limit yourself by defining who your competitors are. Because if you do that, you’ll never think big enough.”

She also once had a hilarious dinner with Bill Cosby when working with him on the JELL-O Pudding Pops project.

Paul, a Hippo, and how we respond to what happens

/in , , /by

templerbookPaul Templer is from Zimbabwe. He grew up in Harare with my dear friend and college roommate Anton. So I had the privilege to meet Paul over twenty years ago while he was traveling, and visiting us, in the States. At the time I recall he was a free spirit, wild, fun, adventurous. The summer after that visit to our college in North Carolina we all lived together in a rental apartment in Chiswick, London. We worked as laborers for a tenting company with a few Aussies and Kiwis. It was a blast. And always Paul was a generous, caring and great guy to be around.

One time I commented how much I appreciated his velskoene shoes from Africa. Velskoenes are traditional leather bush boots, pronounced ‘fellsquin’ and more known commonly as ‘fellies.’ Anyway, at the end of his visit he said he would like me to have them. I insisted on paying him something. He said, “surprise me with whatever you want to pay for them, but they are yours.” I gave him everything in my pocket – which was about $23 and proudly wore and appreciated these African boots.

A few years later we had all graduated and set off on other adventures. Paul returned to Zimbabwe to become a licensed river and bush guide and establish a touring company. This story you might vaguely recall from over ten years ago, because his heroic efforts during a river trip hit the international news wire, and was later featured in a National Geographic story. Paul was guiding a group of tourists down the Zambezi river and had divided his clients between himself and the two other guides aiding him that day. Paul was keenly aware hippos are notoriously territorial and took precaution to keep his group close and periodically bang the side of the boat to encourage the hippos to surface and be seen.

Suddenly his friend’s guide boat was flipped by a 4,000lb hippo and both the guide and his clients were launched into the river. Paul immediately lept into the river to save his guide and direct his clients to the shore, but the hippo attacked Paul repeatedly, holding him down beneath the surface, until eventually when he was freed by the beast and swam to shore. His arm had been nearly severed and his lung had been punctured. The nearest surgeon was 270 miles away in Bulawayo over a dusty difficult jeep ride, and hours later upon arriving, the doctor was left with no choice but to amputate Paul’s arm.

The experience threw him into a funk. With no money, no job and no arm, after months Paul picked himself up and started again. Paul’s second act has been to marry, father three beautiful children and become a successful, dedicated and talented speaker, coach, adventurer, philanthropist and inspiration for many around the world. In the wake of this event, Paul has found strength. In his own words, “Stuff happens. Life is going to happen. The only thing we have any choice over is how we respond to what life throws at us.”

I encourage you to have a look at his new book, What’s Left of Me. Enjoy!

Double-check your gear, take some lessons and have a backup plan

/in , , /by

SailingIntoTheStormWe live on a street called Bayview. There’s no view of the bay. At least not from our house. The actual view of the bay is through the trees about a quarter mile beyond a stand of pines down to a boatyard behind our house. With three young kids, living by the ocean I felt we needed a boat, right? A sailboat would heighten our senses, present new challenges and landscapes, offer new adventure.

I knew enough about sailing I guessed, but my wife thought otherwise, and so I settled on purchasing something smaller, a day sailing vessel. I went on Craigslist and found the perfect thing – a little 13 foot O’Day sailboat, with room for myself and a couple kids. Perhaps I could even convince my wife to venture out with me and a picnic basket. I contacted the owner and hatched a plan to purchase the boat, with trailer, on our annual excursion to Mooselookmeguntic Lake in Maine.

I knew my wife wouldn’t have patience for the transaction and so I took our boys to close the deal at a sprawling farm near the lake. The owner said he had never sailed the 1973 O’Day but had all the rigging, sails, and original paperwork. It appeared to be neglected, fairly unused, yet preserved well beneath a canopy of tarps to shelter the boat throughout the winter months. I handed over the $800, hitched the trailer and boat to our van and rolled off to our vacation camp to admire the boat.

The lake is over 16,000 acres and runs predominantly north-south. Our cabin was situated on the south-east shore of the lake, and there was a nice boat ramp on the southern end of the lake, perhaps 2 miles from our camp rental. Perfect. I made a plan to launch the boat at the south end, sail east around Toothaker Island and then north a mile or so to our camp. A perfect maiden voyage to test the vessel and my skills.

The following morning we towed the boat to the launch, and I inexpertly rigged the sails and mast. In a last-minute decision I decided not to bring my oldest son, who looked longingly from the beach as I set out. It proved to be a smart decision.
Of course I hadn’t checked the wind direction or strength or developing weather, and set out with cheerful smiles from the little boat. What I didn’t know was that the wind was developing quickly, and increasing in intensity from the north. To get home I would be sailing into strengthening wind. And from where I launched the boat I was sheltered by Toothaker Island just a half mile north of me. As I approached the end of the island intending to tack north, I saw whitecaps and wind whipping directly ahead where the island shelter ended and the open uninterrupted lake started.

Then as I neared the end of the shelter of the island I noticed my feet were getting wet. I looked down to discover water streaming up from the bottom of the boat and realized I had forgotten to plug the drainage hole with the steel plug I left in the car. No problem, I place one foot firmly on the hole to stop the leak, and struggle to maintain a straight line across the wind.

So it goes, as I near the open lake and the wind increases unprotected by the island, I pull hard on the tiller to maintain course, and something snaps. It’s a thing I learn later is called a pintle. It’s what holds the rudder in place. Half of it broke off. Now as the open lake approaches, and the racing winds increase, I’m suddenly aware I’m in a strange boat, with an open hole in the bottom covered only by my foot, a wobbly rudder, and a mile of open water ahead.

I have perhaps a minute or two before I clear the end of the island and take the full force of the winds broadside. The far east coast of the lake is perhaps a mile or more away. I think about ditching, turning into the rocks on the end of Toothaker Island. If I wait any longer at all, I’ll be beyond the shelter of the island and into the lake, and in the swell of the waves and the full strength of the wind. Testing the tiller I find I have almost no ability to climb the wind, I can’t turn north, toward home.

Here’s my thought process: If I ditch into the rocks of the island, I’ll be safe, yet lost alone on an uninhabited small island, with the boat likely damaged. If I continue into the open swells and increasing winds, the tiller could either snap completely off, or possibly hold at least until I make land on the far side. If the remaining pintle fails and the rudder comes loose altogether, then I’m set adrift. I’ll simply drop the mainsail and drift with the wind and waves to the south end of the lake. I decide sinking won’t happen. I have no experience to know this is true as the water seeps past my foot covering the hole and the waves wash over the side, but I’m confident in my hunch.

I go for it. The winds increase as I leave the protected lee of the island, and I loosen the mainsail to dump the wind, and somehow manage an agreement between the wrecked rudder and the winds to hold a course directly east to the far side.

Miraculously, I land on the only little beach on the whole rocky coast, which happens to also be at the home of a lovely couple who take me in, dry my off, and offer a ride home to my camp. I decline the ride of course, because of pride and the need to digest the adventure on my walk around the lake back to our cabin.

Over the next few days I made trips to the hardware store, did some homework on boats and sailing, fixed the rudder and sailed it safely back to our cabin. Taking calculated chances makes for good memories and adventures. But check your gear, take some lessons first, have a backup plan, and take a deep breath.

When we leap

/in , , , /by

leaping

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.
– William Arthur Ward

It’s an astonishing thing to observe people who encounter obstacle after hurtle after challenge, and yet seem to only gain strength and confidence and power after each, seemingly insurmountable, roadblock is set before them. There’s a great scene in the animated movie KungFu Panda II in which the bad guy – an evil peacock – laments, “How many times do I have to kill the same panda?!” because the Panda, of course keeps getting stronger throughout the movie, until the end in which he’s catching blazing cannonballs and throwing them back. All because he’s found inner peace.

Terry Fox was like that. He developed cancer in 1980, and while still in the hospital, decided to run across Canada to raise money and awareness for cancer research. We lost Terry to cancer but only after he had run a couple thousand miles across Canada…on a prosthetic leg. His mother Betty Fox kept Terry’s legacy and spirit alive for the last thirty years.

In the book Born to Run, we learn Scott Jurek had such an alchemy moment at the 2005 Badwater Ultramarathon. It’s a 135 mile ultramarathon. Run in Death Valley at temperatures typically approaching the mid-120s. After Scott collapsed after (only!) 55 miles in a ditch in 125 degree heat in a catatonic stupor, he laid in a bucket of ice and searched his mind for ten minutes. Then stood to run the next 80 miles in record time to win the race.

I’ve watched my mom, Bev Hunter, conjure resilience and calm in the storm of cancer. Harnessing the cumulative strengths of her community, her faith, her research-driven analytical mind, family, and joie de vivre, she has transmuted obstacle into power, challenge into growth, fatigue into enlightenment. Erik Weihenmayer uses that term Alchemist to describe just such people who turn adversity into strength, a challenge into innovation, a smack-down into power.

I certainly agree we have the ability to surprise ourselves. If you watch kids, they do it all the time while testing the boundaries of their own possibilities. And then they move on to the next challenge. We often reflect that what seemed daunting and impossible at the time, seems small, easy and controllable in retrospect.

But the key is to take the leap, sign up for that daunting project, or impossible race, or mythic challenge you might think is beyond you. Build those capacities, strengths and creative resources now, because you never know when the world is going to sign you up for something beyond your control.

Learning not to be a jerk

/in , , /by

Following is a fun excerpt from OutThink…enjoy!

school-bus-stop-colorI have a confession. I used to be a tyrant in the morning. Tyrant might be an exaggeration (or not), but my recollection is that while getting the kids ready for school I spent all of my energy cajoling, prodding, pleading, scolding, and sometimes ranting at my kids to get ready – to put on their shoes, eat their breakfast, brush their teeth, get dressed, put their lunch in their backpacks…, because the bus is coming! My wife has a different, and more effective style, but on my mornings to handle bus time I would conduct diatribes on the inevitability of the bus, and harangue them that unlike procrastinating getting in the car, the bus is coming at an appointed time and they needed to hurry up!

One evening after berating myself again for being an ogre of a parent, I decided that the next morning I just wasn’t going to behave that way again. I resolved that regardless of whether they missed the bus or not, I simply was not going to be a jerk to my kids. While a nice idea, it did require I try something else.

I decided I would simply advise them of the time and ask them what the next steps were. So instead of, “Get your lunch in your bag!” I might say, “Looks like we have about 14 minutes. Is your bag ready?” Or if Annie asked me to play Taylor Swift songs on the kitchen iPod stereo, I might say “Well, we have about 20 minutes, do you think we have time?” Sometimes she decided we did have time to listen to Taylor Swift, sometimes not.

It really worked. We had a few close calls, the first few days, but it worked. I would simply point out the time, and almost immediately they learned to watch the clock and developed an awareness of when the bus would arrive (our bus is quite punctual). My whole demeanor changed from dictatorial bus baron to simply asking what was left on their check list in the next X minutes. I would ask if they brushed their teeth or packed their homework, but in an inquisitive way, not as a command. I’m also convinced this morning behavior shift worked because I truly didn’t care if they missed the bus. I was completely prepared to drive them, but I never admitted it out loud. I kept up the shared expectation that we always ride the bus, I just shifted the accountability from me to them. Making the bus became their responsibility; I was just there to help the process.

Believe me, we don’t claim to be model parents, and I find it almost impossible to manage the logistics of our lives these days (last night I missed a soccer meeting by an hour…), but now in the morning we have four kids successfully making two different bus times and very rarely miss it. They watch the clock, punch the list, and make the bus.

According to a study at Duke University, almost 45 percent of our daily activity is habitual. It wasn’t easy to stop barking orders at my kids. It had become an ingrained habit.

In equal parts we have to selectively abandon past behavior, carry on with what works, and pick up new habits and actions.

Getting Lost and Bending the Map

/in , , /by

It’s summertime, and a nice time to immerse in a good book. It turns out that any book outside of our realm of work, particularly fiction, is valuable to our mental flexibility and creativity.

This past weekend I read Laurence Gonzales’ Deep Survival: Who Live, Who Dies, and Why. The book is studying the traits and behaviors of those who manage to survive calamities – plane crashes, lost-at-sea epics, mountain climbing disasters … – yet there is a strong metaphor for the types of behaviors among organizational leaders which allow them to rise up, with resilience, and survive economic and market storms, or maybe just company politics.

Maybe something goes wrong in a product roll-out. Like the introduction of Febreze, in which P&G banked on a market bonanza based on their unique and proprietary product, which they were certain would be a success. Then Febreze bombed. The folks at P&G created a new playbook which resurrected Febreze and made it the $1 billion dollar brand it is today. Their marketing and development group brought Febreze back from the brink of product extinction. But it doesn’t always go that way.

Gonzales identifies five stages survivors typically go through before turning the corner and building an action plan that allows survival:

  1. Denial – the first instinct people have is to deny the position they are in and stick with the mental maps they have built in the planning and early execution phases.  We each have a mental map we are following and if things don’t go to plan, we ‘bend the map.’  That is: re-create was is actually happening to fit into the mental construct we created originally. We deny the realities emerging around us, and instead reframe what is happening to match the original plan.
  2. Panic – Truth starts to set in, but there is no plan B. This is the stage in which people typically succumb to the rising sense of panic within and exhaust energy and resources.  People lost will often sprint to false peaks, dash in directions that fit the map they have ‘bent’ in their head.  The beginning of the end can start here if disastrously they break a leg, lose food, abondon gear, etc…Those in the late stages of critical hypothermia will often take off their clothes, falsely believing they are too hot.
  3. Adherence to an invented plan – what happens next is people create self-imposed rules.  Conditions changed, they feel isolated and try to create predictable rules to follow. The problem is, often these self-imposed rules are created in a vacuum. You are already on the precipice of disaster and the rules created have less to do with actual environmental circumstances, and more to do with creating a false sense of control. He cites the example of a firefighter lost in the Tetons who won’t make a fire to generate warmth and dry his clothes because open fires are banned in the National Park.  Or the example of 11 survivors of a plane crash who believe, falsely, that help will find them if they stay put.  A seventeen year old girl separated during the crash knows no such group-think and follows her instincts to civilization.  At this point, there clearly is no ‘plan’ and it’s the inventive and creative who figure novel ways to adapt and survive.
  4. Deterioration – by this point those lost are desperate and have squandered valuable resources and can lose the ability and willingness to make gainful efforts to survive, find help, and build strength.
  5. Resignation – finally once options are depleted the lost can lose resolve and will.  Those that survive at this point are often carried forth by the draw of someone waiting: a loved one, or an unrealized dream. If you have read Unbroken by Laura Hillebrand, Louie survives the Japanese prison camps, in part, for his deep love and longing to be reunited with family and friends back home.

Fantastically, often when people are lost in the wilderness very few will retrace known steps back to the car or point of departure even when the path they took is clearly understood.  Even when we know the five mile path back where we came from will lead to the car, we think, “just up ahead, around the next bend or over that river, there must be a shortcut back to the car.”

Interestingly, those who possess great survival instincts typically early on in the dilemma show very sharp mental acuity – Steve Callahan‘s boat sank abruptly in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, at night, with no warning, and yet in the first minutes he quickly gathered survival gear, deployed his lifeboat, and took a second to marvel at the clarity of the stars and the weather.  Steve even found humor to offset the deluge of panic rising. All in less than a couple minutes. Awoken from a dead sleep. In the dark.

Possibly above all other attributes including ingenuity, clarity, focus, etc… Gonzales points to Resolve as the defining characteristic of survivors.

The following quote from the book is taken from Joe Simpson’s account of descending Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes with his partner Simon Yates. Simpson suffers a broken leg and slides over a cliff into a crevasse. Believing his partner to be beyond reach and dead, Yates abandons his partner.

“Still hanging on his rope, Simpson began to experience a sense of wonder and even joy at his environment, that same spiritual and mystical transformation reported by many other survivors. It is always followed by a certainty of survival and a renewed commitment. With dawn came light, and with light came revelation: ‘A pillar of gold light beamed diagonally from a small hole in the roof, spraying bright reflections off the far wall of the crevasse. I was mesmerized by this beam of sunlight burning through the vaulted ceiling from the real world outside… I was going to reach that sunbeam. I knew it then with absolute certainty.”