We all have new tricks to share

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Last week we did a gig with Keith Ferrazzi in Philly at SAP – webcast and satellite event to about 20,000 people around the world (although I’m guessing our friends in Singapore might not have stayed up to see it live…).  It was my second interaction with him and again I learned something new (this post was the first).  Before the live broadcast he was generous enough to spend about 25 minutes interacting with the studio audience of about 200 or so people in the local studio at SAP and he opened with a riff about recognizing our prejudices.

His point was that each of us upon initial interaction have prejudices we bring to the table.  Before most introductions we come with pre-conceived notions about who that person is – based on their looks, their title – whatever.  He has a funny ice-breaker in which he picks out someone in the audience and throws out a typecast.  That morning he picked a white guy in the front row and brought some laughs about how that person was probably an Irish beer-drinking, weekend golf hacker, etc…  The routine isn’t crass, he is also making fun of himself as he comes from a humble Pittsburgh background and has himself worked through such prejudices.  The point, of course, is when you open yourself to the possibility that each person can bring interesting, valuable insights to the conversation, you can create the possibility of instant intimacy in that moment.  Keith is inviting people to discard prejudices to then find and build powerful new relationships.

Ok – so that’s clear and obvious enough, but I started thinking about how long-time entrenched relationships can also be leaden with existing preconceptions you may have with the people you already know very well.  You can almost hear your mind say, “here she goes again” when the professional you know so well starts to weigh in on a conversation.  Consider your next meeting in which your long-time colleague starts in with, “In my opinion…” and halt your prejudices for a moment.  Just halt your expectations for a moment.  Your inclination might be to anticipate their point of view and shut off your mind to what they might contribute.

Don Sull, whom we interviewed last year at London Business School, makes a compelling case that organizational leaders need to lean far on the side of invitational openness in discussions in order to allow all voices at the table to contibute clearly and openly.  If the goal is to find a solution somewhere between linear command-and-control and unregulated chaos, a leader needs to err on the side of openness to bring the best ideas to the table.  The lesson here is to curb your prejudices not only in new interactions, but also among those fellow colleagues whom you may have known for a long time.  If we believe we have the capacity to grow in our thinking, have the similar mindset when listening to trusted colleagues.  We all have new tricks to share.

Leadership Presence – Focus on the moment

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By now, most folks following the news and the blogosphere have caught the brief perishable news of President Obama’s tone-deaf gift of a DVD set to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown:

“After Brown presented Obama with a pen holder crafted from the timbers of the 19th century British warship HMS President (whose sister ship, HMS Resolute, provided the wood for the Oval Office’s desk), Obama offered up … 25 DVDs of American movie classics.”

Ok, so not necessarily a quid pro quo, but I suspect President Obama chose this gift personally, without the sage advise of White House Social Secretary, Desirée Rogers.  Or we hope so.  We don’t believe this incongruent gesture will lead to overly upset international relations, but he could be reminded of a lesson from Susan Scott on Taking One Conversation at a Time.

Consistently, in all the interviews and filming engagements we have conducted, leaders who have made a marked difference in their teams, their organizations, have all emphasized the importance of being present and engaging wholly in each interaction.  A common sentiment among people led by people who inspire them is that each time they engage their leaders – internal or elsewhere – is that they feel, in that moment, that they are they only person that matters.  Consistently I’ve heard people say that when they have the rare opportunity to talk to Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Immelt, Al Gore, or (pick your luminary, your killer chance encounter), they feel in that moment as if their interests, their concerns are all that matters, and that they are genuinely ‘heard.’  Although I’m not sure Gordon Brown walked away feeling slighted, the UK media jumped all over it, as well as nations witnessing the transaction.

To build trust: Be more interested than interesting

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Mark Goulston, author of Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, taught me something recently. We met while collaborating on a speaking project with Keith Ferrazzi (more on that great event later!) and he struck me as someone who can quietly observe human interaction and then offer marvelous insight.

Mark told a story of interviewing a CEO to learn of his company’s trials and efforts and how the CEO was working to affect substantial change.  Ostensibly Mark had this interview to offer his services and gain a consulting relationship to help galvanize the key executives and help them find the right path to success. While the CEO was telling his story, Mark counted 10 times in which he was tempted to interrupt and offer some keen insight and show that he knew at each stage of the narrative he understood clearly what the company and CEO was going through and how he could help. But instead of offering direction and insight, he said “Tell me more” or “Yes, please go on.” Each time that he felt compelled to intervene in the story and offer thoughts and insights, he paused and instead used ‘deepening’ words to encourage the CEO in his story. At the end, Mark simply reiterated what he heard and waited for acknowledgment – “Yes, that’s what happened,”or “Yes, that’s what I meant.”  By the end, the CEO felt wholly heard and understood and Mark had built a relationship of trust and mutual understanding. He didn’t try to solve each emerging issue as it came up, but instead encouraged and deepened the conversation. The CEO left the conversation feeling he had been heard and fully understood and Mark got the job to help redirect and support the change initiative.

Mark claims he learned this from Warren Bennis when participating in an evening of high-powered professionals and intellectuals. Same story – while the participants at the dinner were busily thinking of their next powerful insight to offer, Warren Bennis listened and only interjected to pinpoint key ideas and ask the players to elaborate on their insights. The discussion deepened and each felt sincerely heard and understood – because they were. Because in that instance and in Mark’s interaction with the CEO, they really were heard.

His lesson (and the similar lesson from Warren Bennis and Marshall Goldsmith) is this: Stop adding too much value. Slow down and listen. Be more interested than interesting. Sometimes in our efforts to display our brilliance we get preoccupied with what we are going to say to impress and lose sight of the message being said. By remaining interested and engaged, anyone you are talking to will feel they are heard and will offer more trust and the relationship will deepen.

Tell 7 people, reach 1,500,000

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david_meerman_scott.jpgThe old rules of marketing are dying. Gone are the days when you can buy billboards in Times Square, ads in the New York Times and WSJ, drop zillions of bulk mail and garner the attention of the marketplace in a compelling way. And you certainly aren’t going to grab their attention using old world marketing gobbledygook conjured up in a windowless conference room. Something like, “Our solution-driven, cutting-edge, robust yet user-friendly, platform-agnostic, turnkey application provides next-generation scalability to propel your mission-critical business initiatives.” Huh?

David Meerman Scott and colleagues did a study in 2007 of over 50,000 articles published in over 4100 widely distributed industry journals, trade magazines and newspapers and published their findings which show pretty clearly the marketplace reacts to promotional content which speaks their language, not the hyped language of old-world marketing.

Cindy Gordon, VP of New Media Partnerships at Universal Orlando, did something entirely different when asked to build a marketing campaign around a new theme park at Disney. She had to build a credible and compelling market release for their new Harry Potter exhibit. She told 7 people. But not just any 7 people – she told the 7 people who publish the most highly trafficked Harry Potter blogs and fan sites. They were invited to a closed, privileged advance screening of the exhibit and were free to report as they pleased, without corporate marketing editorial. Give the power to the people, build credibility and boom!

David wouldn’t suggest there is no place in today’s landscape for press releases and traditional market campaigns entirely, but there are some good guidelines to make these efforts effective.

Email is a reflection and email is forever.

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tim_sanders_half1.jpgHave an email pet peeve? Maybe reckless ‘reply-to-all’? Or someone who forwards a personal or sensitive email without your permission? Tim Sanders believes employees shouldn’t even be issued formal corporate email addresses until they have been through some education on etiquette and email management because the quality of your email correspondence is a reflection of the company you represent. And of course because . . . email is forever.

We recently completed part two in our Tim Sanders Email Etiquette and Management Series and some of these are absolutely not to be missed.

Try:
> Email Management #5: Mine Your Emails for Gold
> Email Etiquette #3: Stamp Out ‘Reply-to-all’

Tim is such a joy to be around and his energy and enthusiasm are contagious. Don’t miss the entire series.